For those who demand oxygenated excellence, even from wines that come in boxes.

Behold: the The Decantleman Wine Aerator🍷🎩, a revolutionary marvel of wine science, crafted* with the precision of a thousand sommeliers and the spiritual guidance of a mildly tipsy monk from Burgundy. Not really though.

Using patented VinoVortex technology, this divine nozzle channels the sacred winds of the Rhône Valley directly into your $9 Aldi Shiraz, unlocking notes of hubris, generational wealth, and vague plum.

With just one pour, your wine is catapulted from “grape juice with aspirations” to “liquid enlightenment in a glass.”

Yes, Karen, it really does make a difference.